Being a Wife and being a Mother. Two of the most common and most challenging roles in a Woman’s life – journey.
It can be life fulfilling, wonderful path where you feel happy, satisfied, loved, appreciated. But it depends on how you balance the roles, because each of them is as important as the other.
When I met my husband, it was love at first sight. Our relationship was passionate and just after 3 months I conceived. We got married two months before our first baby-boy was born. So I became a Wife and a Mother almost at the same time…
It is a challenging time for a Woman, as we go trough a lot of changes, especially at the beginning, when everything is new, over night you get a household to run, a tone of new responsibilities, a million things to do and a million things to learn. It really is overwhelming. But it gets easier with time! You know – Step by step..And it is so much easier if you have support and love from your partner.
We choose our partner for lifetime. Our love should last forever. But when the reality of everyday life kicks in, is everything else but fairy tale. It takes a lot of work, adjustments, compromises, fights and make-ups to make it work. And LOVE. Never lose your love, for yourself and your partner.
The mistakes too many women make, is that when they become mothers, they push their partner aside. Child becomes the center of the attention and nothing else matters. It’s OK for a while, till you adjust on the third/fourth/.. member of your family, but don’t make a habit out of it! if you won’t take care of your relationships/marriage, there is a good chance you won’t know how to live with one another after your kids grow up and start a family on their own.
WE HAVE OUR KIDS ONLY FOR “RENT”, FOR A LITTLE WHILE, SO DON’T BUILD YOUR LIFE ON THEM! BUILD YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR PARTNER, ON YOUR LOVE.
Trust me, if you are a happy, loving and loved wife/partner, you are so much better at being a mother. You give your kids the best example in the World, that true LOVE is the key to anyone’s happiness.
Here are my 7 little secrets that makes me and my husband madly in love after 9 years of marriage and two kids:
1. A hug, a Kiss and I love you, everyday he comes home from work.
This is a must do. Even if you had a fight, even if you’re in a bad mood or tired. Welcome him with love.
2. I always find time to squeeze with him during the day
This is our romantic routine that gives me peace, calm and energy for the remains of the day. I feel safe in his embrace. We can just lie and rest for a while or talk how the day was and make some plans for the rest of the day.
3. Make his favorite dessert.
Make sure you save some for later in the evening…
4. Showing love and affection.
At home, on a walk, on visits, nights out…Doesn’t matter where you are, if you feel like showing your man some love, you do it. Don’t think twice. I don’t. Hugs and kisses never go out of style!
5. Never go to bed angry at each other.
We always talk it out, shout it out and work it out before we go to sleep. Try it, if you don’t practice it. You will sleep better, feel better and you get to have a make up sex. And we all know that’s the best kind.;)
6. Have a night out every now and then.. and a lot of “night out when you stay in”..
We go out on every two months. Usually we go out, when there is a salsa party in town, while we love dancing. But still, that may not be much but we make up for it with our “stay in evenings”. We have them once or twice a week, every week. This means, have a glass of wine, sometimes some dessert, late dinner, some music or a good movie.
7. Make love, explore your fantasy
I know, when you are a mom, you feel tired all the time. And then there is a household to run. That can kill your need for sex. But you would give anything for a good masagge, wouldn’t you! Unfortunately for most men massage = sex…Nothing more to add here, right?!
I had the same problem for about three months after I had my first child and six months after I had the second one ( I always say to moms with one child that they don’t really know what having children means until you have at least two;)).
But my husband patiently waited for my libido to increase, and it did.. I learned a secret…wanna know? The more you have sex, the more you want it! If no other way, make yourself make love to your partner. Let yourself go, make him take care of your inner woman, she needs it!
After this enlightenment, our sex-life went from zero to hero!
And this changes everything. Talk about your needs, wants, fantasies…It connects you on a whole different level.
Love each other, respect each other’s needs, accept each other’s imperfections, talk to each other, listen to each other and hear one another! Be strong yourself, be stronger together. Do your best, to be your best. Wish for the other what you wish for yourself. Like that, we are the best role model for our children!
If you would like to share with me your story, experience, secrets, please do so.. Share, comment, connect..