This time my thoughts are spinning around parenting. The world is overflown by millions of books, magazines, websites, parenting blogs that all tell us how to be a:
- modern parent
- YES parent = good parent
- patient parent
- engaged parent
- proud parent
- happy parent
- never-lose-your-grip parent
Oh, and let’s not forget our dear parents and in-laws and “more experienced”friends with their never-ending advice on how to handle various situations…
So, time for my naked truth about parenting begins…It’s at your own risk, once again!
No.1 What in the world did we sign up for?!
Really…Who is so stupid to sign up a life-time contract for endless worries, never-ending fear for the wellbeing of someone that’s not you, countless sleepless nights, chronic lack of alone time, no privacy, never-ending self-questioning if you’re doing it right…
Well, me I guess, and all of you, who are reading this, So, a toast to this brilliant contract! It’s a deal of your life! literally!
No.2 5 healthy meals/day, up yours! Be PRACTICAL or get BURNED!
I know, I know, healthy food is the key to a healthy child. And I am for healthy and natural and vegetables and so on..But that takes (
some/a lot) thinking, it takes ( some/a lot of) time, it includes planning/making up meals and it takes (quite) a lot of arguing they (kids) actually eat the food. So, having pizza or spaghetti for dinner, where everyone is eating with no complaints and smiling full mouth, tell me is that a such bad choice? NOT for MY health!
No.3 We’re loud because we love each-other so much!, dear neighbour..
Does your neighbours often use some excuse they haven’t got the time to talk..? Next question – are you a loud family? This two might be connected;). Sometimes we tend to be quite loud, so thank god, we live in a house with just a few neighbours. But still, I really don’t want to know how much they hear when we turn the volume up;)). What secrets we reveil…
No.4 Grumpy old man sitting on the sofa – oh wait, that’s my hubby!
Hey, baby, remember how you used to lift me up and spin me round and took me dancing and was always smiling and had so much energy and dreams and plans? Oh, parenting, you’re not playing fair!
No.5 Grumpy old woman sitting on the bed – oh, wait that’s ME!
Remember, baby, how you used to love to dance and make all this plans and dream and laugh and smile all the time, how you loved hanging out with friends? Now, you’re hiding in the bedroom, trying to get some alone time…Oh, parenting, you’re not playing fair!
No.6 Always YES, always calm, always compromises – nope, not with me
You might judge me, but I will never say YES to everything, I will not always react in a calm way, sometimes I will lose my grip, and I won’t always compromise with my kids. It’s life baby, deal with it!
No.7 Sometimes BEST advice is NO advice at all
Is he dressed enough? I think he’s cold! Did you take them to the doctor? I think you should do this differently. You should.. I used to do it like this…Why didn’t you…If I were you, I would…I was a parent too, you know, I know things!
Rings a bell? Do I need to say anything else?
No.8 Messy, stressy, smelly house
Diapers, smelly shoes, dirty clothes, food left-overs, crumbs on the floor…Smelly mommy who didn’t shower and a smelly daddy who sweats by racing with two kids on his shoulders..A poop in the potty and a baby who got sick…Socks on the floor, towels on the floor, toys on the floor – and we need closets for…??!! No dinner, until everything is clean! Yeah, right!:)
No.9 Oh, to be CARELESS just for a day!
Ha! Remember, the days with nothing on your mind? Going with the flow, doing nothing or everything, whatever you want. When it’s just YOU, when it’s all for YOU and all by YOU. And now it’s WE and will always be WE.
No.10 I’m CLUELESS, but you don’t know that!
Didn’t you know? I know everything about everything! I’m the smartest woman in the world! Ask me anything, I’ve got the answer! my kids said that, so it must be true! What? You are too? Oh, you’re a parent too, right! The smartest people on the planet!
And for the end an Ode to parents:
One foot in and one foot out
always running, running around!
Hungry mouth to feed
little hands to lead.
Crafting and singing and hopping along,
cleaning and cooking and washing all day long.
Picking up socks and crumbs off the floor
while it’s the in-laws outside your door!
There’s shouting and screaming –
please tell me I’m dreaming!
Like horror movie, but can’t seem to wake from,
I’m not sure what will be the outcome!
I’m tired, you’re tired, both tired as hell,
fall on to the sofa – wait what is that smell?
Oh, my lovely big toast I made before,
I sang for the hundred’s time the lullaby chore!!
So, pure me some wine and press the re-set,
let’s focus on good stuff and that kids are our greatest asset (read as blessing!!).