Motherhood – a lot has been written on this topic. One of my favorite blog for reading about mom’s daily struggles, the misconceptions, about the real deal, inspiration, humor and much more, is Talya’s Motherhood: The real deal. She’s amazing mother, blogger, business woman.
I guess every woman has her story to tell after becoming a mom. No story is better that the other and no mother is alike any other. So, we would do ourselves a big favour, if we would stop comparing to others and start trusting in ourselves.
A woman’s world turns upside – down and inside – out, making us insecure and scared but somehow we need to find a way to ride the bumpy ride of motherhood the best we can.
No.1 Extremes – from love to anger in a split of a second
Have you noticed that when becoming a mom two things happen.
1. Powerful love and joy of having kids and family. You love stronger, laugh louder, hug more. You just can’t help yourself but to kiss your kids as often as possible. You would do it all for them.
2. What happened to patience? I guess my kids have a special way of triggering the monster inside me I never knew existed (I’m pretty sure it didn’t before kids!) and would scare off the mighty Godzilla when let loose! Sometimes I feel like I’m a nervous wreck, wondering if that’s normal?!
And this transformation can happen really fast, in a split of a second. I hate it but just can’t help it sometimes. If only it would make any difference, but it doesn’t, does it?!
“Where has that relaxed, calm and always smiling girl gone?” I wonder sometimes…
No.2 So Powerful and yet so helpless
You ever get scared of your feelings and how powerful they are?
Do you feel like the love for your family, kids gives you the power to conquer and overcome everything and take down anyone who tries to hurt your family?
But on the other hand, do you ever feel completely helpless by the love you feel, as you know you cannot live without them? That your heart stops the minute theirs would? At times when injustice happens to them, when they hurt and are sick? And you cannot do anything?
No.4 Now and forever: I will worry about you
At first you worry about labour and health of your newborn. Then you worry about how you will learn to be the best mom you can be. And then the recognition comes, that till the day you die, your mind won’t be at ease and you will always worry about your kids, when they’re 5 and when they’re 40.
When you realize that, it’s so much easier to understand your parents, right? Why they worry, give more advice than necessary, call you every day,…We’ll be the same!
No.5 I’m scared if I’m raising you right
This is probably one of the most common fears that a mother has. Knowing you are raising a human being that will make a way into this crazy world.
Never knowing if you were just a bit too strict or not enough, if you were angry a time too much, protected them just a bit too much,…
Will they find their way, did you teach them to be proud of themselves, did you teach them to love themselves and to be confident? Have you showed them what true love is? What true friendship is?
A lot goes trough mother’s thoughts and mind. But we never show. We act like we’ve got it all figured out, that we have all the answers.
No.6 Good old white lies save lives
Are you like me, saying trust and truth is the foundation of everything? Teach your kids not to lie?
But we are talking about something completely different here, right? Good white lies are just that, good. They don’t hurt anyone, they just make things happen, accelerate events, save lives (mostly of a parent!). We feel in control for a second there.
But they only work till they’re like 8 (on a good day). After that you’re on your own! And THEN it becomes other way round! Kids! Gotta love them!
No.7 I wanted that last piece of …
We never say it. If it’s the last piece of cake you haven’t tried yet, the last slice of delicious pizza when you haven’t eaten all day,..Warm dinner just once, last spoon of chocolate ice-cream when PMS kicks in, the last cookie when feeling a bit down…
“Mom, can I please have it?” “Yes, you can have it.”
Oh, the sacrifices mother goes trough!:))
No.8 My heart breaks every time I see my kids cry and hurt
I want to protect my kids from all the harm and negative. I wanna shield them from the storms and rains. But I can’t. And shouldn’t, I know. How else will they learn?
But it doesn’t mean I don’t care. Or that it’s easy letting them be on their own and learning the hard way…
You see: when you cry, I cry with you. When you hurt, I hurt twice as much. When you fall, my heart breaks. But you don’t know that, you don’t see that. You see me, standing beside you, helping you and being your rock when you need me.
No.9 You are and will be my No.1 forever
From the day they are conceived, your kids become your priority, your number 1.
I don’t like the common thinking that mom’s needs are pushed aside as they really are not. As a mother you want the best for your kids and providing and taking care of them means taking care of yourself, your confidence that you’re a good mother.
The thing that changes is that when we become a mother, we become less superficial and more aware of the inner feelings, thoughts and beauty. That’s why we don’t mind going to the nursery wearing our PJ’s and to stores with cereals in our hair. And leggings are our new best friend. It just doesn’t matter.
But then at some point YOUR TURN comes. It must. I encourage you to take care of yourself and your needs. It won’t take your kids from that 1st place, it will only help you become happy, healthy and confident. Remember to take care of your inner woman. That’s the secret of becoming a great mother and a role-model to your kids.